Pokémon Wars the Movie
by Star AJT 84
Summary: After the war ended (read “Pokémon Wars”), Ash just realized pretty soon he’s going to be a father. Now soon he’s going on an adventure again! Ch 4: Ash & co goes on another adventure.
1. Attack in the Store and News Under Fire

Pokémon Wars: Back in Action 

Ch. 1: Attack in the Store and News Under Fire

It's been about three years since the Pokémon Wars ended. Ash and Misty are still married. Ash has finally achieved the title of Pokémon master, but now he's got a lot of thing to think about, more than he could ever know.

Tonight, Ash is doing some shopping in Cerulean City, even for some strange items: mostly sweets for his beloved wife. He's got no idea why she's asking for that stuff, they've been happy so far. He's dressed in black boots, blue pants, a white undershirt, a golden utility belt, a blue jacket, and cool fedora tonight. Pikachu followed him by his feet.

As he entered the store, a teenaged version of Nurse Joy sighed at his presence (call her Pre-Nurse Joy). She knows that he's married; it's just that he's still good-looking.

Ash went to the cashier, one of the male clerks replied, "Hello. How are you? Nice weather we're having today." Ash replied, "Yeah, really nice weather. What sweets are available tonight?" Pre-Nurse Joy tapped his left shoulder and showed him where they are. He shook her hand, "Thank you."

He looked at his grocery list carefully, while looking over the candy and pastries; most of them are all for Misty for some reason.

Before going home with about six bags full of groceries, he eyed two suspicious-looking dudes in leather jackets. One of them asked one of the clerks, "Excuse me. Do you have any police officers around here?" The clerks replied, "Only Pre-Officer Jenny (a teenaged version of Officer Jenny), sir."

Ash's suspicions were confirmed! He placed his groceries down and placed to two men in jackets in a chokehold! Pre-Nurse Joy asked him, "Mr. Ketchum, what are you doing?" Ash told Pikachu, "Check for weapons, buddy." Pikachu crawled into the jackets, and pulled out a submachine gun and a missile launcher!

Ash told the two, "You two wouldn't happen to be criminals now would you?" Realizing who was choking them is, they said, "Yes, we are." He threw them onto the ground hard and Pikachu shocked them with a Thunder Shock!

Pre-Officer Jenny came by, "Geez, Mr. Ketchum––" Ash showed her his Team Hope Lieutenant Badge in his wallet. Jenny sighed, "Whoa, and my little sister is already a sergeant, and she's just 8 years old." Ash asked her, "What are you, young Jenny?" She replied, "Through the damage I've caused by not letting the bomb squad come by, I'm busted down to patrol labor until further notice."

Her radio beeped, she checked it, "Yes?" Her mother's voice (the actual Officer Jenny so you would want to know) replied, "A weapon-wielding thug is on 4th Avenue, and Team Hope are also underway there as well." Ash borrowed little Jenny's radio and replied to her mother, "Team Hope Lieutenant Ash Ketchum and your firstborn daughter are underway, Officer Jenny."

Ash and Pikachu ran out the door! Then he came back in, "Take care of my groceries please, it will be for only a few minutes." The clerks nodded, "Sure."

Ash ran out the door, where a golden-colored Team Hope car came by, the driver's side door opened and revealed Ash's brother-in-law, Marty Waterflower, who said to him, "Come on, Ash!" Ash jumped into the car and closed the door!

As the vehicle made it to 4th Avenue, they all saw the weapon-wielding thug, in full body armor and wielding two weapons, an odd-looking assault rifle and a flamethrower. The damage he dealt so far was a few burning buildings.

Gary asked in surprise, "What the hell? Who's this joker?" Ash sighs, "I don't know, representative for the NRA, maybe." Gary asked the others, "What do we do?"

Ash answered, "Run him over." Gary asked What if he turns around and shoots us with that assault rifle?" Nick understood Ash's plan, "Well he _hasn't_ yet. Have you thought about that? Don't be a don't-be, be a do-be. C'mon dudes, be _positive_, now." Gary yelled, "WELL LET'S RUN HIM OVER." James groans, "Good, I'm glad you see things his way."

Brock moans, "I hope he doesn't turn around." James reassured his 'new' buddy, "He won't turn around. We'll creep up on him. WILL him not to turn." Meowth asked his good friend, "Will him?" Ash understood, "Yeah, that's the power of positive thinking. C'mon WILL him not to turn. DON'T TURN AROUND, PLEASE DON'T TURN AROUND." He noticed that they weren't helping, "C'mon I need you, men."

Gary and the others chant, "DON'T TURN AROUND." James agreed, "That's it. DON'T TURN AROUND. DON'T TURN AROUND. We're better than him." Nick goes for it, "DON'T TURN AROUND." They chant some more, "YEAH. DON'T TURN AROUND. DON'T TURN AROUND." The flame-throwing assailant turned around, Ash realizes, "He's turning."

The car stopped with its side facing the villain! They stepped out with their own guns and fired on him, while their Pokémon fired non-solid attacks at him (fire, water, electricity, etc.); to their surprise, the bullets and other attacks bounced right off him!

Ash took a good and deeper look at the guy, "Oh man, this dude knows how to apply Fusenergy too! He's got an Aggron for an attack-proof suit of armor, a Shiftry for an assault rifle, and a Torkoal for a flamethrower!"

(A/N: if you don't know what Fusenergy is, read my other Pokémon fan fiction stories!)

Marty exclaimed, "He's got enough Fusenergy to make our attacks bounce right off him!" James whimpered, "I know! We're in trouble!"

Ash told the men, "I'll draw his fire; you run for cover!" Gary grabbed his former rival, "No. No, no, no. _I'll_ draw his fire; _you_ run for cover!"

Ash became furious, "What are you, out of your mind? You got a wife, a job. I've got titanium Kevlar and Nomex on, you're safer this way!" Gary whimpered, "Ash, we weren't supposed to tell you this, but Misty's pregnant and you're going to be a father." Ash roared, "No, Gary! Get going. Get––" Ash did a 'double take' movement of his head, before realizing what Gary just said, "What did you say?" Brock yelled out, "YOU'RE GOING TO BE A FATHER!"

Gary sighs, "She was afraid the pressure might be too much for you!" James asked the younger man, "Have you two ever talked about children?" Ash, feeling surprised, just said to himself, "A baby?"

Now the whole craving that Misty was having makes perfect sense!

Now its Ash's turn to feel kind of guilty, "Um, there's something I didn't want tell the rest of you too." Brock didn't pay much attention, but he calmly replied, "What?" Ash answered, "Your wives are pregnant too, you're going to be grandfathers." Spooked, James grabbed Ash by the shoulders and exclaimed, "Jessie's what?"

Brock begged, "My wife, Ruby, can't be pregnant! I mean we've only––" Then he realized what he was about to say next, "Oh!" Ash sweat-drops, "Yeah, you've only done it a little." Gary sighed, "Can't control destiny much, huh?" Drew asked Ash, "What the hell? And I thought Sakura was acting strange a few days ago." Marty was surprised that he got Duplica pregnant, "Well, I didn't think we intended to get that way."

Gary asked Ash, "May told you that she's been asking my grandfather to be a great-grandfather?" Ash nodded.

Ash passed some green Fusenergy into Pikachu, turning him into a handsome humanoid version of himself in a golden trench coat and fedora (a la "Van Helsing").

Gary asked, "What are you doing?" Ash replied, "I'm going to take my clothes off!" James asked, "What the hell for?"

That broke Brock's mind, "And out in public?" Ash explained, "I take my clothes off; only down to my underwear, Flame-O turns to see me, that will distract him; I know it will distract you, then that's when Pikachu gets his chance!" Gary asked, "His chance to do what?" Pikachu quietly answered, "That valve on his napalm tank!"

Marty pulls his shirt off, "There goes my dignity; now what am I going to say to my sisters?" Ash asks his brother-in-law, "What are you doing?" Marty explained, as he took his shoes off, "I figure it would work better if we all had been stripped down to our underwear."

Reluctantly, the other men did the same as Ash.

Gary grabbed Ash, "Did you sleep with her?" Ash replied, "Of course I did!" Gary shook him up a little, "You idiot! That's my wife!" Ash defended, "Oh, you meant May! Only before I left my group before the war started, I thought you were talking about Misty!" Gary lets go, "Sorry." Then he looked up to the sky as if he was talking to god, "Please, let my kid be an Oak!" James joked, "Ouch! That must really hurt to give birth to that kind of child."

Pikachu said to his friend, "He's coming closer, I'm going move out of the way, buddy!" Ash nodded, "Good."

Ash then tried to stifle a laugh as he got a good look at Gary's underwear, "Are those light-pink?" Gary, feeling embarrassed, shouted to Ash, "What about that gas valve?" Brock asked as he stripped down to his underwear, "What's the next phase of your 'great' plan, Ash?"

Ash answered, "To go around, clucking and flapping my wings like a bird." "Why?" Marty figured out why, "To distract him more?" Ash nodded, "Yeah, Marty!" Marty growled in his throat, "On three!" Ash yelled, "No time for three; go for one!"

James cried out, "One! TWO! LET'S GO!"

As Ash got out to draw the flamer's fire first, Tracey groaned out loud, "I don't want to die in my underwear, Ash!"

Ash acted like a big Torchic in his underwear first!

(A/N: to understand better, Ash is flapping his arms like little wings and hopping around making sounds a Torchic makes, followed by the others)

As the flamethrower is pointed to poor James, Ash shouted to Pikachu, "NOW!"

Pikachu, in Gabriel Van Helsing mode, pulled out a pistol that looks like it was formed from Ash's Swellow, and fired at the valve with bullets of high-pressured electricity, causing the human flamethrower to become a human rocket, sending him sky-high before exploding!

As a charred set of human bones landed on the ground, the Pokémon partnered with it reverted to their actual forms, leaving shells of their Fusenergy forms they were in earlier. Now they are wild Pokémon without a trainer. That was changed when Pikachu used the Swellow Pistol to fire bullets of electricity, weakening them to a knock out!

Gary cheered for their current victory against crime, "Wonderful, Ash! I guess that Torchic thing helped, huh?" Ash just said, "No, I just thought it get you to laugh because I'd thought the old you would like the old me do it."

Frustrated with Ash, now knowing that he was doing it to withstand the embarrassment instead of them, Gary frowned, "I don't believe you, Ash Ketchum!"

Together they gathered the knocked out Pokémon as the police took care of the rest. Pre-Officer Jenny commented to Ash, "Cute behind you have there, Mr. Ketchum."

Realizing that they need their clothes too, they moved back.

Ash asked his friends, "How would you dudes feel if I buy you some doughnuts?" as he patted Marty and Gary's backs. Marty sighed, "That would be great." Gary flailed his arms around, "Don't touch others when they're walking around half-naked!" Then Pikachu mimicked the voice of Sean Connery while saying to Gary, "Well, surely you're not ashamed of your butt."

To the next chapter…


	2. Boat Wars

Pokémon Wars: Back in Action 

Ch. 2: Boat Wars

Almost 7-and-a-half months later…

Tonight the men are doing a little night cruising on a cabin cruiser boat that belonged to Marty. The green-haired brother of Misty's just laid back as the boat moved on.

Then he heard his brother-in-law, Ash Ketchum, say to him, "That's a very lively one, isn't it?"

Marty looked at what he was talking about, Meowth just caught a Sharpedo while doing some night fishing. He scolded the talking scratch cat Pokémon, "If that Sharpedo damages my boat, I'm taking it out on you, Meowth." Meowth defended, "I didn't mean to catch him! Okay?" James (who placed on a small ponytail just 4 months ago) asks his little friend, "Why would you want to keep it for?"

Brock agreed with James, "Why would you wanna keep a Sharpedo anyway, you're a Pokémon too as it is." Meowth replied, "Are you kidding? His old teeth would look great on a necklace." Gary said, "They've got to stop snapping first; Sharpedo are known to have really powerful biting power." Marty suggested, "Maybe chewing on Meowth would wear him out." Ash asked, "Do you really think sharks eat their own kind?"

At that, everyone laughs at the joke! Meowth says between laughs, "You nearly got me in stitches!"

As things cooled down again, Meowth asked Marty, "Where're my bags?" Marty said, "Starboard side aft last time I remembered." Meowth asked Marty as if he was a schoolteacher, "Don't you know your starboard side from your port side?" Marty said, "Port's left, starboard's right." Meowth said, "Just making sure your memory's good."

Ash said, "Meowth, Sharpedo." Meowth looked behind him to find his tail close to the Sharpedo's mouth! James sighed, "Damn the Sharpedo." Nick called to the Sharpedo, jokingly; "He's right in front of you, Sharpedo!" then quickly chanted the 'Jaws' theme, before laughing some more.

Gary said, "Some of us already have some Sharpedo, why don't we throw him overboard?" Marty replied, "I'd throw more of Team Toxic overboard, if there was any of them left." Ash said, "I'd more than likely throw them _both_ overboard. But since that's against my nature now, I can't do that." Drew relaxes, "There's nobody else out now, except for us, and it's the middle of night, we'd probably get away with it."

Ash went on, looking out to sea. Brock said as he relaxed, "The war is over, the world is rebuilding itself, we're grown up, we're married, we're having children, we're living the life––" Then he realized, "Ash, have you ever thought of what to do when your children are born?" Ash sighed, "I'm trying to figure that out."

While trying to find his bags on the boat, Meowth asked Marty, "Okay, you said 'aft,' right?" Marty spelled it out, "A-F-T. Aft." Meowth said, "That's a fucking word?" Marty loses it (for a while), "In the back of the cabin on the right side, Meowth."

Meowth shouted at the green-haired Pokémon surfer / Cerulean Gym Leader, "Well, why didn't you say that in the first place, MARTY? I love these people. Put them around boats, water, and all of the sudden everything becomes so nautical. 'Astern. Avast you landlubbers. Man the bilge pumps.' Pump your fucking ass all the way to the moon, you asshole!"

Ash laid back and looked on. Marty lain back next to his brother-in-law, "Geez, how do you feel, Ash?" Ash replies, "No matter how much I feel that the war is over, I still feel that I'm going to end in some sort of trouble." Marty guesses, "Maybe you're descended from a ranger." Ash asks, "What do you mean?" Marty answers, "You can feel danger before it happens and can avoid it."

Ash looks down back at the deck and asks Marty, "Do we want Meowth to lose a paw?" Marty replies, "Yeah, I want Meowth to lose––" Realizing what Ash said, Marty looked down and found Meowth poking his paw into the Sharpedo's mouth! "MEOWTH! WAIT! NO!" Meowth pulled his paw out and loudly replied, "What?" "SHAR!" Meowth looked at the screaming Sharpedo, then it relaxed with relief, "Sharpedo." Meowth looked at the Sharpedo tooth he just pulled out, "Oh."

Marty asks, "What did you think you were doing, Meowth? Losing your paw on purpose?" Meowth shouted, "I WASN'T TRYING TO LOSE A PAW, I WAS PLAYING DENTIST WITH JAWS HERE!" James sighed, "Well, Jigglypuff wouldn't want a three-legged husband now would she? Just because of trying to collect at least one tooth?" Meowth sighed, "This big guy was having a toothache anyway."

Nick picked up the gear Meowth was using, "This is some pretty piece of hardware, do you have a permit or a diploma for this, Meowth?" Meowth said, "Jessie, James, and I are servants of Ash now, of course we do, 'Mr. Leader-of-the-Amazons-and-Samurai'." James gets up to stretch, "We can get into ugly situations, but we love our job. And we can pull off such wonderful skills with our occupations."

Brock sighed, "When we were younger, I have thought of _you_ guys as an ugly situation." Nick joked, "Well, permit or no permit and diploma or no diploma, you're not allowed to have this without either, you're too silly for this sort of job." He placed the gear back into the kit next to Meowth.

Three gunshots rang out through the air! Ash jumped to his feet, looked far behind Marty's boat, and found a huge ship heading their way, "OH SHIT, MOVE THE BOAT, MARTY!" Marty looked and made his boat move out of the way as fast as possible, luckily it wasn't hit!

Ash shouted to his comrades, "Cover me, guys!" By instinct, knowing that the bigger ship's radar would detect Marty's boat, Ash somehow foresaw the searchlights on the boat flashing towards them! Marty growled, "I sense something very bad too, brother! James, or whoever's more experienced in driving this kind of boat, drive; I'm going to help my brother-in-law!"

Gunfire was directed at Marty's boat! James cries, "Let's make like the shepherd and get the flock outta here!"

Meowth pulls out a giant laser cannon, "Hey, assholes! Eat this!" BOOM! A blast of blue energy shot through the searchlights and hit a few barrels on the ship, making them leak and burn! Ash calls to his team, "BURNING GASOLINE; HEADS UP!" Meowth looked up as one of the barrels wear launched up into the air like a rocket due to the fuel inside it burning! "Wow, look at that." Marty watches as the barrel falls into the water beside his boat, he says to Meowth, "You caused that you know. Now try to protect my boat, or else I am gonna take it out on you, Meowth!" Meowth saluted, "Yes, sir!"

While trying to knock some of the villains' heads together (pardon the battle speech), Ash had his mouth full with a blue-and-white metallic pistol he pulled out of nowhere, he tried to say something to the other men on his side but the words were muffled.

Richie shouts out, "Ash, you crazy son of a bitch!" Tracey asks, "What did Ash say, Richie?" Richie says, "Pull him up! He's going to fight on their boat!" James said, "Sure thing, boss!" He pulled the cable hard that Ash was holding onto and up and onto the ship's deck he went!

Ash took the gun out of his mouth and shouted, "I said pass me Pikachu and then do that!" James looked at Pikachu, who was at the helm of Marty's boat, and squeaked out like a mouse, "Sorry!" Meowth resets his laser cannon and places Pikachu in it, "Setting cannon from kill to launch. Fire!" BOOM! Pikachu went flying into Ash's arms safely! Ash calls to Meowth, "Meowth, you crazy son of a–– (suddenly with a grin) BITCH!" Meowth grins back, "YEAH!" and laughs out manically!

Brock cries out, "I'm too old for this shit!" but sends out Ludicolo and Swampert into the water anyway, "Ludicolo, use Dynamic Punch to punch some holes in the bottom of that ship to sink it! Swampert, use Rollout to redirect that ship to the shore!"

Both of his water Pokémon complied; Ludicolo danced in the water while throwing glowing fists which are punching holes into the enemies' ship while Swampert is using Rollout on top of the water as if it was on land, pushing the ship, redirecting it towards the shore! Brock's plan worked!

Sharpedo got back into the water by flopping around enough and attacked with a Fury Cutter attack, cutting the ship down to its skeletal structure! Meowth said to Marty, "You've gotta love that Sharpedo!"

Koropokkia jumped out of her Poké ball on Marty's belt and used Psychic to move containers and innocent passengers out of the holes of the ship! Marty asks, "Is that what the first gunfire was about?"

Back on the ship, after kicking ass of more and much of the villainous crew, Ash was getting his butt kicked by the last one, and vice versa. But pretty soon, after his victory, the coward ran away scared.

Back on Marty's boat, "Damn! The assholes nearly killed my brother-in-law! Good thing he's alive still."

Then Marty groans out, "Since Ash became involved with my family; his Pikachu fried Misty-Chan's bicycle, our family gym was attacked, she fell in love with him but never told him fully or directly for years, their love life attacked, her heart broke when they splat up from their friendly groups, a real world war broke out, our butts got kicked, my old mental scars reopened, my birthplace reconstructed by means of watery destruction, all of the Pokémon of the universe died and got resurrected, and now my boat became a sea battle vehicle! Oh man, what's left?" Meowth shrugs, "I think that's just about it."

As few minutes later… the coastguard and the police arrived, the innocent-looking people are in fact and truly innocent humans and Pokémon. They were becoming taken away so they can be signed up legally and be freed.

Gary asks Officer Jenny, "What's going on?" Officer Jenny explains, "For many months now, we've been receiving calls of people and Pokémon getting kidnapped and placed into a specialized custody, looking for information on a legendary item that's not supposed to be real." Brock asks the cute officer's first eldest daughter, "What about these people? Why do they stink?" Pre-Officer Jenny sighs, "Well, they've all spent a month in a room with only one toilet, lots of rice, little fish to eat, whoever is doing this sells them off like property."

James asked, "Sells them? Property?" Pre-Officer Jenny nodded, "Like slaves and other life forms that have no reason to live at all, including poached animals. It's really sad."

A cop nearby says, "This could cost us a fortune." Ash asks that very cop, "Whatever happened to 'bring me your tired, your poor, your wretched masses yearning to be free'?" The cop said, "Now it reads 'No vacancies'." Brock groans, "Guess you don't believe in freedom and rights." Gary helps a slave child up and adds his two cents "At least these are nobody's slaves now."

As Marty goes to help the children amongst the slaves and the poached Pokémon, Ash lays his hand on his brother-in-law's shoulder, "Marty… I'm sorry about using your boat like that." Marty sighs, "It's alright, at least it didn't get severely damaged."

James and Meowth told the tale from his point of view to the TV reporters, right now; Meowth says to the reporters, "And all of the sudden we see this flaming barrel come down; Marty didn't notice until the very last moment it barely missed us and his boat, he commanded me to shoot any flaming barrel flying through the air coming towards his boat because it could be very vulnerable the young girl: the boat I mean."

James spoke next, "All of the sudden this big damn Sharpedo–– Wait! I can say that, can I?" The reporter answered, "You can say it, Mr. Morgan, sir. But we can't air it." James fixed it, "Okay, this big darn Sharpedo comes along––"

To the next chapter…


	3. Meet the Ketchums

Pokémon Wars: Back in Action 

Ch. 3: Meet the Ketchum's and Other Family Matters

Morning came… Ash drove up to the home he and Misty bought in Pallet Town a week before they got married, they agreed to start a living of their own, but he completely forgotten that he had to learn to be a father in the process, so he took some test about week after he found out about her pregnancy.

Their house is blue-colored and lovely. The vast fortune and power from his father's work in the Team Hope force is now inherited to the man of this house, Ash Ketchum. Next to this home is a white-colored mobile home, belonging to Jessie, James, Meowth, and Jigglypuff; who all decided to forget about being enemies years ago and be friends, as in servants to the biggest hero in time: Ketchum.

Ash unwrinkled his jacket to make him look his best; he's been up most of the night since that fight, right now he picked up a breakfast at a fast food drive thru. He felt pain in his neck, "Oh, god." CRICK! He stretched to get the cricks out before going in.

Misty jumps into her husband's arms with glee, "Ash!" Ash groaned out, "Hey, honey."

Misty still looked achingly beautiful as she did years ago. The differences in her now that she's almost over 7 1/2 months pregnant, she placed her ponytail lower and longer, her chest certainly developed through pregnancy (as did her womb), etc.

Misty (**_very_**) friendly scolds him, "You were supposed to come home last night. Are you okay?" Ash leans over her, "Well, better than the other men. We had some _bad_ businessmen run into us: mainly me." Misty laughed, "No wonder why you look a little banged up." Ash jokes back, "And you look a little knocked up."

He kisses her on the cheek then goes down to her womb that holds his future child. Ash backed away a little when he felt a kick, "There she goes again." Misty felt it too, "There she, or he, goes again. We still don't know if it's going to be a boy or girl yet, Ash."

"Right now I'm better than Marty is; his boat had to be used as a sea battle vehicle." Misty was surprised, "No!" Ash nods, "Yep. At least it didn't sink." Misty sighs, "Thank god." Ash groans, "We all had something to do with it."

Ash lies down to relax and bit into a breakfast sandwich he got from the fast food joint, Misty snatched the bag with the rest of the fast food breakfast from Ash's other hand, "Hey! What about our breakfast? You know I can't cook very well."

For several of these months, Ash has been working his butt off to learn to cook, and surprisingly he's doing a rather excellent job at it 7 months ago.

She asks with concern, "What happened last night?" Ash lists it all down, "Oh, violence, madness, mayhem, death, destruction, action, and adventure; including gunfights, explosions, wild sea Pokémon, Pokémon battles, you know, the usual."

Misty sighs, "Last night, you were out just for fishing, darling; just for fishing. Does trouble just go looking for you?" Ash looks into space, "Nah, it just seems to know where I am… most of the time."

Pikachu calls out to Ash, "Pika!" Ash looks in the direction, amazed, "Hey, you finished the nursery already." Misty replies "Yeah, the women and I figured that the nurseries we each have would be great for girls or boys. Cute, huh?" Ash smiles as he enters the nursery, "This is excellent! Whoa, it's a Poké-fest! Did you catch 'em all?" Misty giggles, "Yeah, you know how crazy we are about Pokémon, and I got a little carried away. I hope the kid will love them as much as we do."

Ash sighs, "If our babies are going to be anything like us, I hope they will." Misty blushed at the idea of having more children later, "Maybe some other time, honey. Nothing comes between a pregnant woman and a meal." Ash got to cook breakfast for Misty and replied, "I'll take your word for it."

Ash made her specialized French toast with sliced fruit. As Misty gets to the outdoor dining table, she asks Ash, "Where's your breakfast?" Ash said, "You did take it away from me." Misty said, "Before you arrived home, I got you a few burgers and other police food." Ash plucks out a doughnut, "Although Team Hope isn't the police department; I'll still accept it, darling."

After breakfast, small group decided to take a gentle stroll on the beach.

Jessie said, "T.H.I.A. (Team Hope Internal Affairs) got an anonymous tip this morning." Meowth asked, "How are things going with the rat squad?" Jessie answers, "They say that you're on the take, Ash." Ash laughs a little, "Me on the take? That's a big laugh. That's bigger than Max's own fiancé-to-be."

The women looked at him suspiciously… Ash groaned, "Oh, Mist! Promise us you won't tell any other woman this." Misty held up her right hand, Jessie held up her left, James said to his wife, "Right hand, Jess." Jessie corrected the position, together the girls said, "We promise."

Ash sighs, "Well, you know how Brock was with pretty girls back then?" Misty nods, "Yeah, now he's got himself a good-looking lavender-haired gal as his pregnant wife." Ash adds in, "And how jealous he is when some girls he starts to like go after me instead, right?" Jessie nods, "Who could help it if you're so good-looking, even as a kid back then?"

Ash remembers those mental scars when Jessie and James gave him a kiss on the cheeks. "Ugh…" Ash said, "Don't even tell May about this, I don't want her water to break if she hears this. Max was most likely the both of Brock and me in the previous info, he met a girl, they fell in love, he impregnated her, the whole shebang. I'm not sure that May should know about this yet."

Jessie asks, "Do the other boys know?" James sighs, "Yes, we know."

Misty asks, "Well, who's the lucky soon-to-be sister-in-law?" Ash sighs, yawns, and answers, "Super model and Pokémon coordinator Serena Usagi from the Orange Archipelago."

That was when Misty suddenly took the information too seriously, "Oh! This just keeps getting better and better! Sally User (she got the girl's name wrong, it's not a tease or nickname)? No wonder that pink-haired blimp-chested chick has been sucking up to May recently; she has been offering meals and other gifts to her a lot of times, endlessly all the time!" Jessie follows along, "We all thought that she like-likes May."

James groans, "Just promise us that you won't tell May, Gary, and Brock."

Jessie and Misty said in unison, "We promise."

Ash thought to himself '_Why do I not believe them?_' but he leans on Misty, he's still exhausted from last night.

To be continued…


	4. Team Hope Briefing

Pokémon Wars: Back in Action 

Ch. 4: Team Hope Briefing

While heading for Team Hope Headquarters… Ash was with the other guys, briefing about future family things; Ash said to Gary, "Misty said she doesn't know if it's going to be a boy or girl, so we discussed baby names some time last month, and it came to a close: 'Ray' if it's a boy and 'Kaley' if it's a girl." Brock said, "Ruby and I decided 'Lita' if it's a girl or 'Rocky' if it's a girl."

James groans, "Jessie and I thought of 'Clyde' for a boy or 'Camilla' for a girl." Gary sighs, "Uh… 'Cole' for a boy and 'Amy' if it's a girl."

James responded, "I like Serena Usagi––" realizing he shouldn't tell Gary and Brock yet, he quickly corrected himself, "usefully better." Gary didn't get suspicious; he had enough excitement from last night, "A little late for that, Jimmy."

At headquarters…

Seeing a clipping from a newspaper depicting Ash and the others in their underwear in public that also reads 'Torchic Hope Men Foils Fusenergy Human Tank' on the wall, Gary nervously blushed! He tore off the clipping and silently bickered with Ash about it before screaming out——

"ALRIGHT PEOPLE! IT'S ALMOST BEEN A YEAR ALREADY! A YEAR! THIS CRAP AIN'T FUNNY ANYMORE!"

Ash had to take the embarrassment and he was willing to endure it, so now he's going to defend the future embarrassment of his friends, "How was I supposed to know they were going to think it was a good idea, this was supposed to be meant for me, not these dudes."

Behind the others' backs, Nick silently snickered as he placed up another clipping of the same story, "Yeah, we're the ones who gets it in the neck. If we ever catch whoever's doing this, we'll kick his butt!"

They've come to see Tetsuya, a brown-haired Pokémon trainer from Hoenn (he's promoted to a general), who wanted to see most of them in his office for some reason.

Tetsuya sighs, "Thank god there's someone worth seeing instead of being retired (referring to Ash and his friends), we're dinosaurs—— Ash, please seat down." Ash saw the row of seats reserved for him and the other men, "Sorry."

Tetsuya continued, "We're like the prehistoric Pokémon, or dinosaurs, headed for extinction." Ash yawns, "Speak for yourself..." Tetsuya still continued, "Must make way for the new-Improved Team Hope: people with mad Pokémon trainer skills, tools, weapons, and psychology degrees, like Max, out there."

The latter was seen outside the indoor window of Tetsuya's office, looking back at them! He let his dark-green hair grow down to his shoulders, plus some laser surgery done to his eyes so he could get rid of them, and he's wearing a green-and-blue mission jumpsuit. He waved to them 'hi.'

Nick was confused but waved back, "Maxie has a psychology degree?" Gary groans, "More like a psycho degree." Ash sighs and stretches, "Ah, heck, I've got nothing against it; times have must change. Hey, a year ago a Brock almost got nailed by hot-rodder with a zip gun." Brock comments, "That's how far back I go."

Ash got down to business with Tetsuya, "You want to see us, Tetsuya?" Tetsuya sighs and starts, "Because of everyone, including us, getting such vast fortunes after the end of war, the taxes have been horribly lowered. That's not a good thing because still lots of villains left behind, the world is still in need of Team Hope, and all you do, Ash Ketchum, is go hunting down villains wherever they're about to appear. Most of the heightened insurance has been used for repairing for the damage we've been causing."

Brock groans, "Oh, man! What are we going to do about this?" Ash sighs, "If you want me to quit, I'll retire immediately, I'm going to be a father in a few months anyway." Tetsuya stopped them in their tracks, "They can't fire us or you either, and we don't we want you retire either; so… they're promoting you."

Ash smiled, "Promoted?" Gary lost all negative emotions, "Hey!" Nick was about to high-five with Marty, "Captains!" Until Tetsuya interrupted their celebration, "There are no open captain spots, so the General of T.H. is using her special privilege, and is making you Colonels, and Ash and Gary… generals."

Ash was surprised, "Colonels? Generals?" Nick smiled, "Even better." Ash said, "Start at age 10 with Pokémon training, 15 years later you're a general, soon to be a father." Brock groans, "Oh, man! Ash is inexperienced and yet he outranks me!" Gary sighs, "I know."

Tetsuya asks, "Can you guys try to stay out of trouble?" Ash grins, "As long as it doesn't find me." Tetsuya held out his hand, "Give me those Lieutenant badges." The men in the room did. Richie was remarking how brightly his new colonel badge shines! As he handed Ash and Gary their general badges, Tetsuya said, "This is one of the most painful experiences of my life."

As the colonels moved out the door, Tetsuya also handed Ash a folder, "You have a mission, General Ash. It involves that you and the other boys have to have for Neon Town immediately." Ash asks, "The new Las Vegas in the Kanto region? Okay."

As Ash took the folder and rejoined the others, he noticed yet another newspaper clipping of Ash and the other men again before the others. Ash eyed Nick suspiciously "I was wondering who has been placing that up continuously, Nicholas." Nick had what came to him; Ash kicked his ass (by means of Pokémon battle).

Ash angrily groans, "Get those miserable Pokémon of yours healed up for the new mission we're going on." Nick sighs in defeat, "Yes sir."

Brock decides to see his lovely psychiatrist, Dr. Stephanie Woods, she's a lovely blonde in a beige outfit. "Excuse me, Dr. Woods?" She noticed him and asked him, "Oh, Colonel Harrison. What is it this time, dreams about Nurse Joy and Officer Jenny having a catfight over you and then deciding to have an orgy afterwards? Or have you finally cooked up something more amusing?"

Brock asked, "Pregnancy?" Dr. Woods laughed, "The 'p' word? Do you know what I think we'd do? We'd go into my office and you'd say something like, 'Doc… I want you to bare me a son' or 'Officer Jenny or Nurse Joy.'"

Then Dr. Stephanie Woods scolds Brock; "My time is reserved for people and Pokémon with real problems and real needs. HAVE YOU GOT THAT? HAVE YOU?" Brock feigns being clueless and says, "Care to run that by me again?" Dr. Stephanie Woods sternly answers, "No. And do you know what? I don't like you."

Now that Brock got what she meant, he sighs as she leaves and replies, "Stephanie, I can't go out with you. I'm in a relationship, I'm married, I'm very happy. Now you'll find somebody someday, but you've got to stop bothering me." Stephanie, painfully embarrassed, insults him, "You are disgusting! YOU'RE DISGUSTING." Then she noticed everyone's laughing at her! "What's the matter with you people?"

Ash sits at his desk, thinking that he should return to the adventures before becoming a father, by going on this mission.

Nearby him, Marty opens up a bag of fast food and reads a label on one of the packages, "'Flied lice'?" Brock jokes, "'Flied lice'? It is fried rice, you 'plick'!"

Meowth says to them, "Can I give you guys a friendly piece of advise, okay? Don't ever go up to the drive-thru, ok? Always walk up to the counter. You know why? Ok, ok, ok, ok. They fuck you at the drive-thru, ok? They fuck you at the drive-thru. They know you gonna be miles away before you find out you got fucked, ok? They know you're not gonna turn around and go back. So, they don't care. Who that's fucked? Oh, Leo Getz. Ok, sure. I don't give a fuck. I'm not eating this tuna, ok?" Annoyed, everyone shouted at Meowth, "SHUT UP!"

As Nick returned, he asked Ash, "What the heck's wrong with you Ash, still on the wrong side of the recuperative powers lately since you got beat up? You placed my Pokémon in serious pain."

Meowth goes onto with more rants, "Always take your Pokémon to the Pokémon Center; never take them into the hospital! You know what I say? They fuck you in the hospital. First they drug you then they fuck you. And when they done fuckin' you, along comes the insurance company and fucks you some more. Ten dollars for a fuckin' aspirin!" James plays with his ponytail and says to his longtime friend, "Calm down, will ya?" Meowth sighs, "Ok, ok, ok."

Meowth's eyes bug out, "General Ketchum; touchy green-haired kid 12 o'clock!"

Max gets to Ash and the others, "I'm here to come along with you guys on your mission to Neon Town." Gary sighs, "Okay." Max says to Ash, "We found the criminal that was on the boat that was beating the stuffing out of you, Ash. He was found in Neon Town, but he ran away from view the moment he was spotted." Ash growls, "That son of a bitch was nearly caught by me and ran off like the coward he is, must be licking those wounds I gave him."

Max explains, "He didn't go too far, he was found on a nearby rooftop. Strangled to death. And get this: Spearows ate his eyeballs." Ash puts on a 'cool with it' face and says, "Cool."

A cell phone ring tone was heard. It was coming from Max's Pokédex Cell, "Excuse me." He answered it, "Hello? HELLO?" Then he hanged it up! He groans, "CRUD! I hate it when this happens with these cell phone programs! Darn cell phone programs, man! You get a call, they cut you off. You make a call, they cut you off. What's the point? I never––"

Meowth says to Max, "Don't you know what they're doin', kid? Eh, that's it… They fuck you with cell phones. That's what it is. They're fuckin' you with the cell phone. They love when you get cut off, you know why? Huh! You know why? Cause when you call back, which they know you gonna do, they charge ya for that fuckin' first minute to get it at that high rate."

Max said, "If you're lucky enough to be able to call back, because the 30-hour battery you got only lasts 20 darn minutes!"

Ash tries to put some headphones on to put out the annoying conversation. James asks, "What if you're behind a hill? It goes––" He starts making static noises to imitate like so. Max shouts, "Or if you're going through a darn tunnel or something else, man?"

Max continues, "They always keep making them smaller! Do you know why they make them smaller? So you could lose them! You want to know why? So you have to buy more phones! I never lost my mom's cell phone! Take you two darn hours on a long-distance call! Duh-duh-duh-duh-4, Duh-duh-duh-duh-5, Duh-duh-duh-duh-–– OH! I messed up! Hang up. Got to call again, Duh-duh-duh-duh-4––"

Ash took his earphones off, when nothing was working to keep this off his shoulders.

Max groans, "I never even lost my _Sports Illustrated_ swimsuit cell phone! Thank god I didn't even lose my Pokédex with the cell phone program!"

James asks Max, "And what about the fuckin' scanners? These jerks, they get your phone number and then they make calls for all over the world!" Max shouts, "OH! Somebody took my number and called Afghanistan! Afghanistan! I've never talked to anyone in Afghanistan, I don't know anybody in Afghanistan, and even if I did know anyone, I wouldn't talk to that Afghan ass for three hours. I won't talk to my daddy for three hours."

James and Meowth shout in unison to Max, "They fuck you, they fuck you, they fuck you with the cell phones. Hey, you know what happens when you go to a drive-thru? They get you in a––" James' cell phone rings! "Hold on, hold on." Max sits in a computer desk chair and asks, "Why am I talking to you?"

James answered his cell, "James Morgan, private investigator." Ash spoke on the other end of the phone (with British accent), "Ah, private investigator? Yes, Mr. Morgan, I was just wondering if you'd be willing to investigate my privates." James got confused, "Investigate what?" Ash replied normally, "My privates, you stupid idiot. Shut the hell up!"

James groaned, "Oh, very funny, Master/General Ash, you're costing me a lot of money here." Ash smiles, "Yeah, at least three bucks." "Three dollars to answer a fuckin' call, they fuck me with the cell phones, now you're fuckin' me!"

Ash laughs, "You're pretty tough on the phone now, imagine how your old boss would've felt when he'd see you now, dude." Meowth took James' phone and says into it, "Yeah, that's right! Telephone tough guy!" Then they both realized, "Why are we talking to you on the phone?" Ash says, "Calm down and get back to work."

Max said, "'No' means no." James sighs, "I have a feeling that you guys are starting to like us." Tracey moans, "We'd be the first other humans."

Ash whispers to Gary, "We should bring them along." Gary was confused, "And hire them?" Ash nods, "Yeah, bring them along and hire them. They can follow us around like last time." Gary warns his partner, "But the bad guys will see them!" Ash whispers to Gary, "Yeah, yeah, that's the idea, it'll drive them all nuts!" Gary interjected, "But they will shoot them!" then he gets the idea, "Hey, let's hire them and bring them along!"

Marty gets pulled by the collar of his jacket, "Where are you taking me, brother?" Ash explains, "A mission, Colonel Waterflower."

Once outside, Ash notices a lovely pink Cadillac car, "Whose is this? It's beautiful!" Marty said, "It's my sister, Daisy's, car."

Meowth opens the side door, a whole lot of water is flooded onto everybody! Marty explains, "She placed a security system that only she and other Waterflower family members are allowed to touch onto this." Meowth pops up from the water with a fishing rod, "Well, whaddya know, I found Nemo!"

Back at Ash and Misty's home, Misty and the girls were having tea. She gets a fax letter from Tetsuya, Serena Usagi gets up (she's as lovely as May is (May is still nervous about her)) and reads it, "Hey! Ash, Gary, Brock, Tracey, Marty, Nick, Max, Richie, Drew, and James are out on another mission together!" Misty gets up, "I'd say we should get to it too, we deserve to be on this mission as much as they do, even though most of us are pregnant." Duplica said, "If I know your friend, Brock, he'd probably hit the road by now."

On the road… Brock and James both fell out of the Cadillac, but got back into it.

Gary asks Ash, "So, General Ketchum, what's going to be on this mission this time?" Ash answered, "It involves something called the Golden Eevee." Drew said, "Cool."

Ash asks Marty, "What are you going to do when you retire from Team Hope?" Marty said, "I think I'll… I'll… I'll be a stunt double." James laughs in disbelief, "You? A stuntman? Please." Marty asked, "No? Okay, maybe try out my best to top Jan and Victor against the tsunami, Humunga Dunga?" Ash said, "Listen, brother-in-law on a sports-board, if this heap gets to Neon Town, you'll ride all the waves you want."

A 'Pokémon dance mix' ring tone was heard, Ash answered his Poké-Cell, "Hello?" Misty's voice was heard, "Ash honey? Are you and the boys going on some secret mission without telling us?" Ash sighs, "Yes, I'm sorry. But how did you know?" Misty explains, "Tetsuya just promoted us from lieutenants to colonels and faxed us. We'll be with you in Neon Town shortly." Then she hung up.

Ash asks, "Why her too?"

Little does he realize that that very phone call was heard via enemy satellite.

In a secret area… surrounded by a ring of desk with shadowy board members, the mysterious president roars out, "This is unacceptable. We cannot have nine-year-olds working in sweatshops making our best goods... not when three-year-olds work for so much less..."

All the people surrounding him, his Vice-Presidents, reach for their buzzers. The VP of Child Labor (as it reads on the desk label before him) gets to his first, "But, sir, they require naps." "Put double espresso in their sippy cups."

All of the sudden, a familiar face comes by the president, it's Domino that was once from Team Rocket years ago (and she's got a lot of makeup on the side of her face), she whispers into the president's ear. "The woman's son is on the assigned mission?" The president's shadowed face looks at a seemingly empty space in the shadows, "Monitor; show us Ms. Deria Copt Ketchum."

A 3D holographic image appears, displaying various kitchen instruments, etc., along with Ash's mother, who still looks pretty for a woman in her 50s (with some streaks of silvery white in her hair), working on a few meals for the patient yet happy goons in white uniforms with big golden G emblazoned over their chests.

The president asks, "What's going on?" One of the female goons replied, "It seems like she already cracked from the moment we kidnapped her, it seems like kindness and courage runs in the Ketchum bloodline." Deria asks one of those goons sweetly, "Who would like to like the batter off this spatula?" The goon talking to the president of the company turns to her and calls out, "Me first!"

The president was a little disgusted, "It seems like they do. Switch to targets." The holographic images changed to Daisy's car with Ash and the other men. The president smiles sinisterly, "They're heading towards Neon Town, just where I want them. Soon, we, the last members of Team Gold, will possess the power of the Golden Eevee and use its powers for our diabolical act!"

Domino asks, "What about Ash Ketchum?" The president turns to her and slowly and quietly says, "I want him brought here, alive."

To be continued…


End file.
